mera jee chahta hay k jb main subha bahar nikloon tu Kashmir Highway tk jatay jatay rastay main barf bari hona shuru ho jaye. main Kashmir Highway tk puhnch jaoon. aur barfbari aur tez ho jaye. itni k meray qadam na uthain. sab kuch ruk jaye. barf parti rhay parti rhay, sab kuch white ho jaye, meray black shoes, black coat, black scarf sab white ho jaye. kal record barf parray... kam az kam 5ft 4in.

Be of Gold

Its been since my childhood when I was in Primary School my mother used to say these words many times. (I will try to translate it so that its essence may not get fainted).
 She always used to say "If you keep saying "ban sona, ban sona, ban sona" be of gold!, be of gold!, be of gold! only then it is possible to turn any element into gold. But if you say only once "ban ruppa" be a trash!, it will take no time to turn into a trash. This is how your character is." She advised us, "My children, character needs to be protected, polished, maintained, and nourished with the food of good thoughts. Keep reminding yourself you have to be of gold and keep putting your effort into it and one day you will be. But if you forget this only once and you just try to be a crap, you will see you will become so!"

NUST, Islamabad

"escaping is not a solution"

Almost five years back I was told by a chef in Italy, when I reached there after a long tiriring journey in steel ship that it won't help me. It was really a tough and bold step by me. But before I could have relaxed myself in new accommodation he arrived. He in his red uniform and black high chef cap. How can I forget him and his comments. He told me escaping is not a solution. Travelling to the farthest place in the world wouldn't help. The problem is within myself. Which I carry on wherever I go. So even if I have travelled to Rome I will stay restless.

Sobia Ehsan

Mehrbaan

ik  gunah  mera  maa- pay wekhay; tey deway daes nikala
lakh gunah mera Allah wekhay; tey O parday pawan wala

maa-pay; parents
wekhay: watch
daes nikala: unhouse
lakh; hundred thousand
parday pawan wala: one who cover

Zindagi _ Lamha ba Lamha

"Chamakti aankhain...
Muskuratay chehray...
Ulfatein'
Qurbatein.."

mehz chand talkh lehjay

"JudaiiaN
Nafratein,
bheegtay chehray,
udaas aankhein"

Nov. 2013

Dreams are not just an illusion. They make suffer those even more who believe in truthfulness of their dreams. Dreaming is a clue, a possibility, an idea, a “may be”, a wish leading to become a desire. But sometimes it is not all that. Sometimes it is only, “God, please don’t!” the goodness or badness of dreams depends upon how close it is to one’s desire. 
Desires are life. Desiring something/ anything gives life a theme, a meaning, a way to act, an objective to achieve and ultimately the key of one’s’ happiness. Every being on the face of earth is set to desire something big, good, bold and meaningful regardless of people thinking their desires little, insignificant, coward and useless. The only thing that matters is how fast you hold them. (Just thinking of a reoccurring dream)

Judai

agr koi
aap ki moat pr
ro ro kr
thak chuka ho
tu
izzat e nafs ka taqaza ye hay
k aap mar jaien
kum az kum
us k liay
jo aap ki
judai seh gya hay.

Sea

Talash e Gumshuda

2007, Ramadan ka pehla roza, aur nai nai nokri .... qareeban 6 saal pehlay kia baat hy. lekin jb yaad aye tu youn jesay kal ki baat ho. training se wapsi k liay IBA ki building se nikli aur paisay nikalnay k liay bag khola, buhat talash kia mgr siwaye 10 rupees k aur kuch maal-e-ghaneemat br-aamad na ho ska. wallet tu main ghar bhool i thi. aur choonkay subha ko ghar walay drop krtay thay is liay mujhy sara din is baat ka ehsas nai hua k meray pas paisay nahin hain. aur agar ho bhi jata tu bhi shayad yehi hota jo hua. ye bhe buhat hain, mainay andaza lgaya. main itnay paison main do tehai rasta tay kr loongi. mainay socha aur chal pari. 10 minute ki walk k bad public transport pr ghar se qareeban qareeban 2 km k faslay pr utri aur paidal chalnay lagi. garmi aur rozay ki sakhti ki thakan tu thi he magar shamat-e-amaal ye k chaltay sath he joota toot gya. un dino meray bag main hr wqt hr trha ki stationary dastyab hoti thi. so mainay paper tape se joota jora aur phir chal pari. magar wo ziada dair nahi chla. kuch door aik mochi betha tha. mainay usay joota pkraya aur sath he usay kaha k paisay main kal doongi. pta nahi usay meri bat ka yaqeen aya, ya meri shakal pr tars us ne mera joota murammat kia aur kaha 5 rupay. mainay kaha k kal doongi. wo kuch nai bola, main aa gayi.

.... aglay din, aur kai din main roz subha office aatay jatay huay sochti k aaj mainay uskay paisay wapis krnay hain. mgr mujhy nai pta k sirf apni susti ki waja say, ya ghar walon k samnay jhijak ki waja se main kabhi us mochi k paas gaari nahi rukwa ski. ghar se nikaltay waqt purse main se nikal k wo panch rupay main hath main pakar leti aur jab mochi ka khokha guzar jata tu wapis bag main daal leti. shayad aik hafta younhi guzar gya...ya shayd do hftay....main roz usay dekhti thi. aur kehti thi acha kal doongi aur khamoshi se wahan se guzar jati.

us din wapsi pr wo wahan nahi tha. sirf wohi nahi, balkay wahan pr mojood hr trha k ghair qanooni tajawuzat, khokhay walon aur thelay walon ka sfaya krwaya ja chuka tha. sarak ki tameer o muramat shuru ho chuki thi. janay walay apna naam o nishan tak nahi chor k gaye.

mujhy wo kabhi dobara nazar nahi aya. aur wo paanch rupay meray purse mein hmesha k liay bojh ban gaye. phir mainay is bojh se chutkara panay ka tareeqa dhoonda. main 5 rupay denay lagi.. kaffara, sadqa, khairat, qarz ye dena kisi bhi category main nahi aata. krtay krtay 5 rupay 10 main tabdeel ho gaye lekin na bojh kam hua na talash. 

main aaj bhi wahan se guzarti hoon tu be ikhtayar daien janib dekhti rehti hoon jahan wo betha krta tha. har trha ki ghair qanooni tajawuzat dobara ho chuki hain, dukano k bahar sabzi walay, rang rez, naai sb he aik aik kr k loat aye hain. aik nahi aaya tu wo jis ne mera joota theek kr k dia tha aur jis ka mujh pr qarz tha.. aur hay.

Lahore

The ego says,"I shouldn't have to suffer", and that thought makes you suffer so much more.

It is distortion of the truth which is always paradoxical.

The truth is that you need to say YES to suffering before you can transcend it. 

Excerpted