Hawa e Dil Mera Shoq-e-Safar Nahin Jaata

Udhar Bhi Jaata Hoon Rasta Jidhar Nahin Jaata

Qayaam Jaisi Koi Haalat-e-Safar Hy Meri

Parinda Jaisay Hawa Main Thaher Nahin Jaata

Jhulas Rahi Hy Abhi Tak Wo An'Kahi Mujh Ko

Ye Aiyb-e-Ishq Ye Daagh-e-Hunar Nahin Jaata

Shayd

shayd kl ki achi guzray

shayd mausam acha ho

shayd dhund k parday main say

charhta suraj poora ho

shayd be-kal, kal na howay

shayd chota rasta ho

shayd bagh dareechay main ik

jana jana chehra ho

shayd rut rangeen ho jaye

shayd badal chaya ho

shayd meray shor k ander

ik sannata ghalib ho

shayd sb ko wehma guzray

shayd pagal razi ho

shayd khud se batain kr k

apna khwab he sacha ho

Aneeq Ahmed Khan

Come back to see how deeply I need you,
Come back to find me awake in the middle of the long nights,
No, no, l'm wrong, your separation will not leave me alive,
You won't see me any more on your return.

"I will be waiting here
For your silence to break
For your soul to shake
For your love to wake."

dard bhi is trha se hota hay
jesay phir dard he nahi hona

She died

I want to die.

I want to die.

I want to die.

She committed suicide today. People wonder "aenni parrhi likhi ho k, aenni kamyab ho k ae kum kitta! barri nashukri kitti" (that she must not have done this act as she was so learned and so successful. Indeed she was ungrateful).

I do not agree with them. I know this kind of knowledge, this awareness brings more desperation and frustration in one's being. You may manage to make them believe that you are having an excellent life but you cannot justify to yourself.

Perhaps she was having an affair.
Perhaps she was dis-heart over a minor dispute.

Or she was annoyed.

She felt like a loser.

She quit.

Peace, she wanted but will never find.
Escape was not the right solution, but she did.
Written in response to Nabiha Ch.'s death.

Nasoor

kuch bhi tu sahi say nahi ho rha. na deen, na duniya. na din, na raat. na parhai na awargi, na dosti, na muhabbat, na rishta dari na ghardari. dil kahin bhi nahi lagta. sonay ka waqt ho tu neend nahi aati, din charha ho tu thakan se choor, adam bezar ho kr bister per girnay ko jee chahta hay. 

kehtay hain soch main, qol main aur fael main tazad ho tu skoon e qalb muyyasar nahi aa skta. zameer mutmain na ho tu skoon ki neend nahi aati. khwa ma khwa he log mukafat e amal ki baat krtay hain. kl kuch nahi hona. sab kuch aaj hona hay, kl jug nahi kr jug hay ye, yahan din ko day aur raat ko lay. 

kehtay hain k pachtaway had se barh jaien tu insan dewangi ki taraf janay lagta hay. duniya se kinara kash honay lgta hay aur khali dimagh mein siwaye wehshat k aur koi cheez ghar nahi krti. pta nahi dewanay log kesay hotay hongay aur pta nahi wehshat main log kia krtay hon gay.

kisi hadith ka mafhoom hay k logon pr aik zamana aye ga k wo din k aik hissay main iman pr hongay aur doosray hissay main is k barkhilaf. shayad wo zamana aa gya hay, din k kuch hison main man maani krnay walay log raat k akhri kinaron main apnay gunahon pr sharmsaar hotay hain. aur raat ki siyahi main chup kr gunah krnay walay din k ujalon mein beth kr apnay daman k dagh dhotay rehtay hain.

kehtay hain 23 se 30 saal ka umr ka hissa buhat lamba hota hay. aur 30 se 40 saal honay main daer nahi lagti. ya tu ye k zindagi nahi guzar rhi hoti aur waqt hath se nikalta jata hay aur kahan ye k waqt nahi guzarta aur zindagi guzar jati hay.

aesa kion na ho, khobsoorat khwab bun'nay main, un main muhabbat k rung bharnay main, umeed  ka diya jalaye rakhnay main, aur phir un ko toot'ta bikhrta dekhnay main, kirchiaN chun'nay main, zakhm sehlanay main, ronay main aur phir ro dho kr khamosh honay main waqt tu lagta hay na. shayad isi thehrao ka naam sabr hay. jb koi daleel na bachay tu isay Khuda ki maslehat jaan.nay main he aafiyat hay, k jo hota hay achay k liay hota hay.

mainay suna hay k Khuda us qom ki halat tb tk nai badalta jb tk insan khud apnay aap ko sudharna nai chahta. phir ye bhi k haalaat nahi badlaingay jb tk un se sabaq na seekha jaye. 

Mayoosi kuch bhi nahi hoti, siwaye ye k aap un logon main uth'tay beth'tay hain jinhon nay apko shikast khorda tasleem kr lia hay. kuch log apni nakamioN ka badla isi trha letay hain k doosroN ko bhi disheart krain. mayoos insan doosray logon ko kuch nahi deta siwaye mayoosi k. nakami moat tu nahi hoti, phir issay zindagi ka ikhtetam kion tasawur kia jata hay. log nakam honay se itna dartay kion hain? aur draatay kion hain? 

zindagi k 4 saal deemak ki trha hr cheez tabah kr gaye. koi b nahi roya. na zalim na mazloom. ye jo log zakhm se khoon rista dekh kr jonk ki tarha chimat jatay hain na ye kabhi zakham bharnay nahi detay. zindagi main skoon aur itmenan ko mayoosi aur nakami k iwaz bech dia jaye tu khushi kahan se milay g. koi saahir hay, qaid nahi krta, azadi k geet sunata rehta hay.... pr main urr nahi pati. janay ye kia talism hay aur kb tootay, kb meri rehaai ho.

S. EA

In pursuit of forgiveness

Mujhay ye shoq tha k hmain duniya main bhi milna hay aur ye sath aesa ho k ham jannat main bhi aik doosray k sath hon. Phir shoq ko kuch be yaqeeni aur kuch yaqeen honay laga k duniya main milain na milain hmain aakhirat main milna hay. Aik khwahish jo jarrain pakarti gaii k Allah Jee Jannat main tu sb duaien poori karaingay. So main Khuda say tumhara sath maang loongi.

Waqt ki lehrain sb kuch baha kr lay jati hain ma-siwaye aadhay adhooray naqoosh k jo na tu theek say bantay hain na mit.tay hain. ye bhi aesi he koi shabeeh hay kisi aesay shakhs ki jis ko naaz tha apni paakeezgi pr, yaqeen tha khud k seedhay rastay pr, fakhar tha apnay khaloos pr aur shayad ghumand tha apnay kirdaar pr. phir wo shabeeh kabhi mukamil nahi honay paii. bhla ye koi baat hay k seep ka moti is baat pr ghumand kray k ussay aaj tk kisi nay nai chooa. abhi tu sonay ko kundan honay k liay aag main buhat sa dehkna baqi tha. phir kesa naaz. phir kesa ghuroor.

wo matti ki dheri, gharoor k qabil nahi thi aur usay aesa krna raas bhi nahi aaya. thokar lagi. kuch toota kuch bikhra pehli thokar hoti he is liay hay, k kuch toot jaye ander he ander, kuch bikhar jaye, magr sambhlnay ki gunjaish k sath. lekin is k baad koi moqa nahi hota sambhalnay ka. doosri thokar tu mukammil bakhair deti hay, choora choora, reza reza wajood, saari zindagi kirchian chun'nay aur wapis asl khaka bnanay main lag jati hay. aur himmat nahi rehti, irada nahi rehta simatnay ka sambhalnay ka.

Kehtay hain k jannat main wohi log dakhil hongay jo Allah k farman.bardar hain. Mujhay kisi shoq, kisi khwahish ka armaan hay na zid. jb darmiyan main kuch baqi he na bachay tu phir milnay milaanay salam dua krnay ka faida. Mujhay sakht preshani ho rhi hay. Mayoos nahi hoon pr fikr lahaq hay. kia main kabhi is muqam pr kharri nai hoongi k main jo maangooN Allah jee day dain.

Sobia

Peace at War

Finally, the ego won as it thought it deserves not to suffer or get hurt once again. The senses warned me that I have no capacity to bear more pain and that's why I didn't take risk. Though, heart said "Yes, I am ready to be hit once again. I am a mirror, more I will be broken into pieces more clear will be the God's image in me". But I didn't hear it. Because, I had a fear of losing so called self respect.
I have learn't to be a realist rather fantasising ifs and buts. I have learnt to control the impulsiveness. I have learnt that either its love or hate that connects the people and beyond that there is nothing but vacuum.
People come and go and even memories fade. Missing someone is natural but expecting the same in return is selfishness. I have learnt that while focussing is very important in love, de-focussing is even more important. The lover and beloved both will die in the end both will be accounted for their deeds.

Swaiba EA

Oct 2, 2014
G-7/1, Islamabad

Retrogressive Shadows

Blessed is He in whose hand is dominion, and He is over all things competent.[He] who created death and life to test you [as to] which of you is best in deed and He is the Exalted in Might, the Forgiving.......Does He who created not know, while He is the Subtle, the Acquainted? Al- Quran (Surah Al-Mulk)

.......

"Don't you think we have talked about almost everything so many times that I am sure I can write a thesis on you?"

"Hahaha" "yes, tum tu sb jaantay ho! (you know everything)" He said in his typical assertive tone. It was a routine sitting. I took a sip of tea and looked at him. He was as usual graceful and refined. "But you have never told me one thing about you" I forwarded the conversation as soon as a new question struck my head.

"And what's that?" He asked. "Its not about the dreams, the passion, the agenda, not even about the failures or depravities. You know, its something different." "Come on! ask what do you want to know." 

"Its about your fears. What are you afraid of? Tell me quickly" I asked with curiosity and excitement. "Haaaahh! A deep sigh (as I could hear without looking at him) yes, its a new question from you. And I can tell you. Usually I am not afraid of the dark but sometimes it scares me. I cant switch off my zero power bulb in night. Sometimes I feel that somebody is whirling my arm behind me. You know that is such an intense feeling that makes me sweat. It is really an awful feeling. That is fearful for me." He stood up from his bench and plucked some grass stalks with white flowers. "You know, in Murree, women and kids make tiaras and baskets from this and make money. I can make one for you. May I?". I approved with a smile.

"But my question wasn't that simple", I tried to bring him back to my query. "Which question?" He asked. "The question regarding fears", I reminded. "Yes, elaborate now", he said while started making a ring of my head size with flowers. "I want to know what are your fears of life?". I asked with the same energy.

"Okey, I tell you." and there he took a long pause. I hold my breath for few minutes in wait of reply but as this pause became uncomfortable I broke the ice. "Jee???" "I can answer you, you know I never conceal anything from you, infact I can not. But it might spoil the evening".

"No, No, No..... believe you me! Even if you say that I am a source of your nightmares I won't mind." I gave a silly laughter to make him comfortable. 

"Mukafat e Amal" he said. I realised he wasn't listening my joke. His voice was grave and low. "The retribution is my biggest fear of life". I could feel the pain and deepness in his tone. 

While his hands were continuously engaged in making the tiara, he kept his gaze lowered and didn't speak anything. I could recall those very few times when he behaved like this. Like when he lost his job many years ago or when his father departed. But today this sudden change in his mood was not apprehensible. there must be something specific that made him so concerned but I ignored and argued, "Are you afraid of destiny?"

"Destiny? please don't confuse destiny with retribution. We reap what we sow. In sowing season even if you don't seed anything fruitful your yield will be weeds. And when one has purposely sown negativities how can he expect positiveness from his future?" 

"Do you think its your regret from the past or some guilt that could tarnish your future? Do you really believe it?"

"No, its not my belief. Its my faith. Everything good or bad I have done will come in front of me. And this is what bothers me day and night". He looked so upset and uncomfortable as he is able to see something as a real punishment in his future. "You ll not be punished for anything". He looked at me with a surprise. "Are you saying this? you know everything about me", his eyes spoke.

"Despaired?" I asked him.

He didn't reply. "Do you think me as a part of your guilt or regret?"

"I cant help it" he continued his speech like a sermon. "I have no idea what to do. I wish I could make things possible and acceptable for all of us. I am the one who make things happen. But I can not. This is not that easy. you know about me. you say you understand me. you know about the responsibilities and the bindings I have. I don't want to make you suffer. you whom I consider a part of me I can never imagine to make you suffer because of me. You know I have never been deceitful to you. you know my sincerity since so many years. you know every bit of me. Don't you?"

"Yes, I do, I do", I said. "I know you but I don't know the person sitting next to me right now" my heart whispered.

"In my prayers I ask the best of the bests for you. A complete life with all the blessings of Almighty Allah" I nodded my head when he spoke.

"Why don't you ask the same for yourself too. Why are you so despaired regarding yourself?" I raised the point in my heart. "Do not despair the mercy of Allah" I started as if I had decided something. (Till that moment even I wasn't sure where things will lead).

"Don't you think its time to take the U turn? a go back. As they say its never too late to mend. And I have also heard that everything has to go back to its origin."

"And what will you do?" as if he has accepted my proposal.

"Patience"

"Its not that easy".

"Yes, I know. But my cause is bigger." I noticed he had completed the tiara. It was really beautiful. He stood up from his seat and stood by my side. He adorned me with his hand made headdress. Tears welled up in my eyes. Tears of gratitude, love, losing and pain. "Are you fine?" he asked very formally. "Yes, I do", I replied.

"Are you sure about your decision?"

"Yes, I am"

"Harsh feelings?" he asked.

"No, it will be fine soon" I managed composure.

"Okey, then get up and say me a whole heartedly Good bye."

Allah Hafiz (Be God with you)

Allah Hafiz (Be God with you)

Indeed the patient will be given their reward without account..... And whoever Allah guides for him there is no misleader. Is not Allah Exalted in Might and Owner of Retribution?.... Say, "O My servants who have transgressed against themselves [by sinning], do not despair of the mercy of Allah. Indeed, Allah forgives all sins. Indeed, it is He who is the Forgiving, the Merciful." And return [in repentance] to your Lord and submit to Him before the punishment comes upon you; then you will not be helped. And follow the best of what was revealed to you from your Lord before the punishment comes upon you suddenly while you do not perceive. Al-Quran (Surah Al Zumurd)

Sobia

NUST 

Islamabad