wo

wo
daer gaye
ghar lot-tay he bistar pr girta hay
aur thaka hara gehri neend so jata hay

wo
diary main
apnay khud-sakhta dukh likhti hay
aur skoon se so jati hay

Hug o' War

I will not play at tug o' war.
I'd rather play at hug o' war,
Where everyone hugs
Instead of tugs,
Where everyone giggles
And rolls on the rug,
Where everyone kisses,
And everyone grins,
And everyone cuddles,
And everyone wins.

Whom I don't Remember

I wanted to write this earlier but I could not due to my roller coaster days. During last week every day I lived I was exhausted over my capacity. Though every night I wanted to spend some time with myself being reading, writing, thinking and creating but I couldn’t make it. As soon as my back touched the bed I was embraced by sleep. I am happy for this and I feel blessed that I got something that kept me engaged, something that consumed me, something for which I utilized my capabilities and something that lead me to a peaceful sleep. Anyways, this is beyond the scope of today’s writing. Yes, I wanted to write this earlier (since 3 days back), or I could have dropped the idea of stating any such thing if it were vanished from my mind during these days. I wonder how completely forgotten and unimportant events become so alive sometimes that we cannot ignore them rather we can’t get rid of them. This is magical, unexpected and purely undesired flash of memory which is disturbing me so much. On last Friday, Aug 8, 2014 I was on a trip with Quaid e Azam University. This was a short trip organized by the management for the workshop participants coming from all over Pakistan. Though I have visited all the listed places of trip so many times even then I wanted to go on the trip. I was alone in the group of many participants like me. We spent the sunset moments in Lake View Park and headed to Pakistan Monument. It was rightly then this flash of memory came into my mind. Girls and boys were singing songs. Sometimes I gave my fellows clues of songs to sing when they were having trouble. Sometimes I joined their chorus. But I was totally taken back with the memory. As if she was with me. I felt that its not a memory but it happened just now. I felt as if she has come to me right then. She sat on the seat next to me and turned to my side. She was glowing. She was smiling. She was happy. She opened her right hand in front of me. It had multi colored rings of glass. 3 or 4 I don’t know exactly. I was shocked on her boldness. I felt like we are all alone in the bus and nobody is watching us. It gave me courage and I looked in her eyes. They were gleaming. She forwarded her left hand. I learnt the desire. I took all the rings from her and put them one by one in her both hands. She didn't say anything. I felt she was thankful. She turned and walked toward the front seats. Neither I knew her name nor I wanted to know. I never saw her again after my university days and I never wanted to. But today I can recall that she had ordinary looks. Her attitude, her confidence, her boldness made her exceptional. Today I am feeling that she was special, she was exceptional she was art and I know this is also just a memory which will vanish soon.

The Man of Faith

The might of the man of faith (Banda e Momin) is the might of the Almighty:
Dominant, creative, resourceful, consummate.

His desires are modest; his aims exalted;
His manner charming; his ways winsome.

Soft in social exposure, Tough in the line of pursuit.
But whether in fray or in social gathering, Ever chaste at heart, ever clean in conduct.

He is the journey’s end for reason, He is the raison d ’etre of Love.
An inspiration in the cosmic communion.

Translated, Kalam e Iqbal

I want to leave this town
But you've chained me down
Stolen away my heart
Leaving yourself behind
Now I've lost my way
My soul restless and head twisted
All because of those secrets
You once whispered.


Rumi

Pepsi TVC

I am watching this Pepsi Commercial today for the first time. Sometimes you become so sensitive to simple things that you can't hold your emotions. Mothers are always like the one in this commercial. They have that feel, that love, that inseparability and sense of being incomplete when they are apart from the kids. A father's love is different. Apparently it looks like they don't care. But when he is not around one can understand what their presence meant to the family. Everytime this kid says to his father, "main aap ka iftari pr intezar kr raha tha (I was waiting for you on Iftar)".... my heart sinks. It cries.

14th Ramadan 1435
July 13, 2014
Islamabad 

Mere hamdam, mere dost

meri qismat ko nai raah dikhanay walay
meri qismat main muhabbat ka safar hay k nahi
meray anjaan mehrban ye bta de mujhko
tere khwabon main kahin mera guzar hay k nahi

Dil ki jalti hui veraan si tanhaaii main
tuu kisi narm se jhonkay ki tarha i hay
do gharri ki hay mulaqat magar janay kion
aesay lagta hy k barson ki shanasaii hay


meri be rabt ummeedon ko sajanay wali
dil ki hasrat ka main izhaar bta kesay kroon
mana mushkil hay ye iqrar e muhabbat lekin
apni chahat ka main inkar bta kesay kroon

Mera hamdam hai kisi dhoop main saaye jaisa
Sath chalta hai magar phir b juda rehta hai,
Kacchy dhaagon sy bnaya hai jo rishta dil ny
Toot jaye na kahin darr sa laga rehta hai.. !!

Mere hamdam, mere dost
Mere hamdam, mere dost..!

Aftab-Seemi-Quyyum

Aftab k liay zindagi thi. So wo jeeta rhay ga mehroomi aur pashemani k sath.
Quyyum ki manzil bhi kaii farsang aagay hay. So uskay liay safar tmam nahi hua.
Aur Seemi.... moat ko us pr tars aa gya ho ga.
Lekin haqeeqat main moat ko tars nai aata. Aur Seemi itna jaldi nai marti.
Quyyum kisi bhi parraao ko manzil ka naam de lay ga.
Aur Aftab.... asli zindagi koi novel thora hota hay jo 300 pages k bad anjaam tk puhanch jaye. Aftab ki zindagi Aftab ki trha roshan hay.

Be A Zero

The incompleteness never vanishes. Whether it is an unrequited love or any other desire. It takes forms and directions. Deep inside of each and every being there is a feeling of having lost something or someone. Sometimes it is an urge a wish to go into the past and rectify mistakes. Sometimes its only about healing the bleeding wounds of soul. Getting back the moments or beings, attainment of desired opportunity is never a guarantee that things will be better now. Sometimes we need to remain yearning, longing and incomplete without having an accomplished desire, having a shattered dream. Life is all about looking complete from the outside and empty inside, like number zero "0".

3am, 26 May, 2014
Swaiba EA
NUST, Islamabad

Saut e Mah o Saal

"saat minute! saat minute bad tum chali jao g". yaqeeni baat hay jana tu tay hay, jb tum bhaagnay k liay tayyar nahi tu..... is baat main dukh nahi tha, takleef nahi tha, dard nahi tha. lekin mujhy yaad hay aur 4 ghantay guzar gaye, jesay chutki bhar ka lamha...

"Sobia meri ammi nahi rahin, aaj aik maah guzar gya un k baghair, aur main zinda hoon, dekho!" iss baat main "haaaye" nahi hay, pr hr jaga haaye he haye hay. phir wo raat bhi guzar gayi jo asal main nahi guzar rahi thi.

2010 October ka aakhri weekend, main pehli baar lake view park gaii thi us k sath. mainay us din wahan pehli bar Alokozay chaye p thi. bench pr hum kitni daer bethay rhay. chaye achi nahi thi. aur 2014 may ka pehla weekend, aaj us k sath wohi jaga, wohi chaye... lekin sb kuch bdl chuka hay.. chaye achi lag rhi hay. main kitaab parhna chahti hoon... usay mujh se baat nahi krni. aesa nahi hay k mujhay pta nahi hay k judai ka dukh kia hota hay, magar main uska dukh nahi smjh skti. main usko doobtay huay dekhti hoon, lekin zindagi tu khud aik shart hay, jo moat k illawa kisi say nahi haarti. 

15 second ki movie, aik flash back tha jo pata nahi kitni baar chalta hay meray zehn main. jesay koi baar baar kmray say nikal k aata ho aur kahay, "Sabia, chachoo nahi rhay" us k baad aik khlaa, aik larza. phir ankhain thak jati hain. sonay walay so jatay hain. aur nai subha ho jati hay.

"meray aur tumharay darmiyan paanch saal ka talluq hay, pagal, aesay paanch minute main tu khatam nahi ho skta na". "lekin mainay aesay rishtoN ko khatam hotay dekha hay, aaj teen din ho gaye" "acha, aur mujhay andaza bhi nahi hua k teen din ho gaye".... mujhay lgta hay sb dard apas main jurray huay hain. aik dori khaincho tu sab kuch ulajh jata hay.

"dawa waqt pr kha lena, aur doodh zaroor peena, Khuda Hafiz". jab kisi azu main sartaan phail jaye tu usay kaatna prta hay. baqi jism ko bachanay k liay. 

"jb koi adhi adhi raat ko charpoi chorr k namaz k liay khra ho tu maaN ko pta chal jata ho ga k baat kia hay, pr maaN k hath main taqdeer nahi hoti meri jaan".

"mera buhat jee chahta hay k main bhaag jaoon". "kesi kesi batain sochti ho tum". main bhaag bhi jaati, lekin main jahan bhi jaoongi mera dil aur dimagh tu sath jaingay. kia faida.

Lahore, Pakistan