....
kahin kuch bhi nahi badla
tumharay hath meri unglioN mein saans letay hain
mein likhnay k liay jb bhi qalam kaghaz uthaata hoon
tumhain betha hua main apni he kursi mein pata hoon
badan mein mere jitna bhi lahu hay
wo tumhari
laghzishoN nakamiyon ke sath behta hay
meri awwaz mein chup kr
tumhara zehn rehta hay
meri bemarion mein tum
meri la-charion mein tum
tumhari qabr pr jis ne tumhara naam likha hay
wo jhoota hay
tumhari qabr mein main dafn hoon
tum mujh mein zinda ho
kabhi fursat milay tu fateha parhnay chlay aana

Elegy

Ajab ghum ki dhamak! Dil pr parri hay

Udaasi aainoN se jhankti hay

Yeh kis manzar mein tumne sath chorra

Meri tasveer aadhi reh gyii hay

Tumhara hath abhi tu hath pr tha

Achanak aankh meri khul gyii hay

Abhi kal tak falak tha das-taras mein

Aur ab apni zameen bhi ajnabi hay

Fana ke baad bhi khawish hay teri

Musafat hai magar kitni karri hay

Kharray hein saans ki sarhad pe tanha

Humaray darmiyan bas zindagi hay

Abu ji

Every night I have to sleep with the fact that you are no more with us. Yet closer than ever before. I am surrounded by your sweet memories and heart-melting flashes from the years we spent together. Deep down I know your absence is temporary. One day we'll be reuniting up there. But that one day is far away. It hurts; when I call you and get no response. When I want to see you or touch you and you are not there. That's when I realise you have gone far far away. This pain keeps pinching my heart.

"My Lord, have mercy upon them as they brought me up [when I was] small." (Al Quran 17:23)

I love you and miss you even more!!!


Beti

Pepsi TVC

I am watching this Pepsi Commercial today for the first time. Sometimes you become so sensitive to simple things that you can't hold your emotions. Mothers are always like the one in this commercial. They have that feel, that love, that inseparability and sense of being incomplete when they are apart from the kids. A father's love is different. Apparently it looks like they don't care. But when he is not around one can understand what their presence meant to the family. Everytime this kid says to his father, "main aap ka iftari pr intezar kr raha tha (I was waiting for you on Iftar)".... my heart sinks. It cries.

14th Ramadan 1435
July 13, 2014
Islamabad 

A father and his family

Video: A Father and his Family

Fa Sabrun Jameel

wesay tu her waqt aur her kam k doraan mere zehn k pas e parda aik he manzar gardish krta rehta hay lekin namaz k bad, dua main, aur sonay se pehlay wohi manzar ankhoN k samnay aa jata hay. kabhi koi baat aur kabhi koi aur magar wohi. 

un ka is tarha chalay jana hmaray darmiyan se. phir neend kesay aye. buhat daer wohi film kabhi maazi ki yaad aur kabhi aik mustaqil kami k sath mustaqbil ki aik tasveer. main ankhain band kr k leti he thi k achanak youn mehsoos hua k kisi ne sir se aasmaan he khainch lia preshani main uth bethi tu laga k paoN k neechay zameen bhi nahi hay. 

maan baap aulad k liay kia hota hain, pehlay pta nahi chalta. jb nahi rehtay tu ehsas hota hay. woh tu chalay jatay hain sukhi ho jatay hain mgr hum kia kho beth'tay hain tab samajh ata hay.

main yahan aati hoon tu mujhay lagta hay k kuch kami hay, mujhy ghar jana chahiay. ghar jati hoon tu bhi adhoora pan, aik khlaa. youn lagta hay jesay main aik shuttlecock hoon. na yahan tik skti hoon na wahan.

kabhi mujhay un k phone ka intezar hota hay k wo phone pr mujhay smjhaien gay mujhay motivate kraingay mgr jb khud ko smjhati hoon k koi phone nahi aana tu........

kitni kasak hay dil main k mujhy koi khidmat ka moqa he nai mila. kitni aasani se khud ko minus kr lia unhon nay k kisi ka ehsan na uthana paray, kisi ko taklif na ho. mainay tu kabhi unhain ye b nai btaya k main un se kitna piyar krti hoon. mainay un ko btana tha k main un pr kitna maan krti hoon k wo mujh pr fakhar krtay hain. wo mera ideal thay ab realise hua hay. buhat daer baad.

jb wo chalay gaye mainay khud ko smjhaya k hum sb ne marna hay. aur hum aakhir main jannat main milain gay. lekin ye intezar itna kathan itna lamba ho ga ye tu smjh he nahi aya.

hum kb maraingay, hum kab ikathay hongay?

Fa sabrun Jameel

June 12, 2013

Fatima Hostel

NUST

Islamabad

Eternity

And on this path, there befell whatsoever befalls always,
Why lament over it, and why accuse.
And however it came, when oblivion came
Either as an avenger or the aspect of love
This is how we must say adieu.
The sore of heart have gone to their peace, God be praised!
And the sweetness of the lips endures yet, Thank the Lord!
The blessed sleeping the sleep of the blessed
The wanderer taking the pathways once more.
My secret longings,
My dreams and my passions
All the dreams and all the passions which had lived for you
Fail to find the life anew.
Like a song without words,
This neither begins nor ends.
This is eternity.

Sobia Ehsan (NUST, Islamabad)
September, 2012

P.S.: I miss you Abu Ji