Saut e Mah o Saal

"saat minute! saat minute bad tum chali jao g". yaqeeni baat hay jana tu tay hay, jb tum bhaagnay k liay tayyar nahi tu..... is baat main dukh nahi tha, takleef nahi tha, dard nahi tha. lekin mujhy yaad hay aur 4 ghantay guzar gaye, jesay chutki bhar ka lamha...

"Sobia meri ammi nahi rahin, aaj aik maah guzar gya un k baghair, aur main zinda hoon, dekho!" iss baat main "haaaye" nahi hay, pr hr jaga haaye he haye hay. phir wo raat bhi guzar gayi jo asal main nahi guzar rahi thi.

2010 October ka aakhri weekend, main pehli baar lake view park gaii thi us k sath. mainay us din wahan pehli bar Alokozay chaye p thi. bench pr hum kitni daer bethay rhay. chaye achi nahi thi. aur 2014 may ka pehla weekend, aaj us k sath wohi jaga, wohi chaye... lekin sb kuch bdl chuka hay.. chaye achi lag rhi hay. main kitaab parhna chahti hoon... usay mujh se baat nahi krni. aesa nahi hay k mujhay pta nahi hay k judai ka dukh kia hota hay, magar main uska dukh nahi smjh skti. main usko doobtay huay dekhti hoon, lekin zindagi tu khud aik shart hay, jo moat k illawa kisi say nahi haarti. 

15 second ki movie, aik flash back tha jo pata nahi kitni baar chalta hay meray zehn main. jesay koi baar baar kmray say nikal k aata ho aur kahay, "Sabia, chachoo nahi rhay" us k baad aik khlaa, aik larza. phir ankhain thak jati hain. sonay walay so jatay hain. aur nai subha ho jati hay.

"meray aur tumharay darmiyan paanch saal ka talluq hay, pagal, aesay paanch minute main tu khatam nahi ho skta na". "lekin mainay aesay rishtoN ko khatam hotay dekha hay, aaj teen din ho gaye" "acha, aur mujhay andaza bhi nahi hua k teen din ho gaye".... mujhay lgta hay sb dard apas main jurray huay hain. aik dori khaincho tu sab kuch ulajh jata hay.

"dawa waqt pr kha lena, aur doodh zaroor peena, Khuda Hafiz". jab kisi azu main sartaan phail jaye tu usay kaatna prta hay. baqi jism ko bachanay k liay. 

"jb koi adhi adhi raat ko charpoi chorr k namaz k liay khra ho tu maaN ko pta chal jata ho ga k baat kia hay, pr maaN k hath main taqdeer nahi hoti meri jaan".

"mera buhat jee chahta hay k main bhaag jaoon". "kesi kesi batain sochti ho tum". main bhaag bhi jaati, lekin main jahan bhi jaoongi mera dil aur dimagh tu sath jaingay. kia faida.

Lahore, Pakistan