The Slut

So, what lead you to be a slut?

The unrequited love.

Rotay rotay phaila kajal aankhoN mein
Pehnay pehnay sookha gajra hathoN mein

ik umr k baad

Main us k galay lagi hui thi,
Woh poonchh raha tha mere ansoo,
Lekin barri dair ho chuki thi..

KahaN ho tum chalay aao

kahan ho tum chalay aao- cover



Kahan ho tum chalay aao mohabbat ka taqaza hay
Gham-e-duniya se ghabra ker tumhain dil ne pukara hay

Tumhari be-rukhi ik din humari jaan le le g
Qasam tumko zara socho k dastoor-e-wafa kia hay

Na jaanay kis liye duniya ke nazrein phir gayien hum se
Tumhay dekha tumhay chaha qasoor is k siwa kia hay

Na hay faryad honton pr na aankhon main koi aansoo
Zamanay se mila jo gham usaygeetoN mein gaya hay

Kahan ho tum chalay aao mohabbat ka taqaza hay
Gham e dunya se ghabra kr tumhain dil ne pukara hay

ﺍﮮ ﻣﺮﮮ ﮐُﻦ ﻓﯿﮑُﻮﻥ

ﺗﯿﺮﯼ ﺣﺪ ﺳﮯ ﻣﯿﮟ ﮐﮩﺎﮞ ﺩﻭﺭ ﻧﮑﻞ ﺳﮑﺘﺎ ﮬﻮﮞ؟

ﺗﯿﺮﯼ ﻣﺮﺿﯽ ﮬﮯ ﻣﺠﮭﮯﺗﻮﮌ ﺩﮮ ﺍﻭﺭ ﭘﮭﺮ ﺳﮯ ﺑﻨﺎ

ﭘﮭﺮ ﻣﺠﮭﮯ ﺧﺎﮎ ﻧﺸﯿﻦ ﮐﺮ ﮐﮯ ﯾﻮﻧﮩﯽ ﺟﯿﻨﺎ ﺳﮑﮭﺎ

ﻣﺮﮮ ﺍﻧﺪﺭ ﺟﻮ ﺧﻼ ﮬﮯ ﻣﯿﺮﮮ ﻣﺎﻟﮏ ﺑﮭﺮ ﺩﮮ۔۔

ﺗﻮﻧﮯ ﺟﻮ ﺧﺎﺹ ﺗﻮﺟﮧ ﺳﮯ ﺑﻨﺎﯾﺎ ﮬﮯ ﯾﮧ ﺩﻝ

ﺍﺳﮑﻮ ﻣﭩﯽ ﻣﯿﮟ ﻣﻼ ﺩﮮﯾﺎ ﺗﻮ ﭘﻮﺭﺍ ﮐﺮ ﺩﮮ۔۔۔

ﻣﯿﺮﮮ ﺧﺎﻟﻖ ﻣﯿﮟ ﺗﺮﮮ " ﮐُﻦ" ﮐﯽ ﻃﻠﺐ ﻣﯿﮟ ﺯﻧﺪﮦ

ﮬﺮ ﮔﮭﮍﯼ ﺍﯾﮏ ﻗﯿﺎﻣﺖ ﺳﮯ ﮔﺰﺭ ﺟﺎﺗﺎ ﮬﻮﮞ

ﺍﺗﻨﯽ ﺷﺪﺕ ﺳﮯ ﻣﺮﺍ ﭘﮩﻠﻮ ﺳﻠﮓ ﺍﭨﮭﺘﺎ ﮬﮯ

ﺿﺒﻂ ﮐﯽ ﺣﺪ ﺳﮯ ﮔﺰﺭ ﺟﺎﺗﺎ ﮬﻮﮞ

ﻣﺮ ﺟﺎﺗﺎ ﮬﻮﮞ

!ﻣﺮﮮ ﺧﺎﻟﻖ

!ﺍﮮ ﻣﺮﮮ ﮐُﻦ ﻓﯿﮑُﻮﻥ

Midnight stretching sketch

shaam ke surmaii andheroN mein

shaam ke surmaii andheroN mein 

yuN meray dil ke daagh jaltay hain

jaisay parbat k sabz pairron par 

barf ke baad dhoop parti hai

jaisay sehra ki rait urr urr kar 

ajnabi ka tawaf karti hai 

door reh kar jo dil mein rehta hai 

woh sitamgar bhi ghair kehta hai

kitni masoom aarzoo'on ko 

iss tarah log torr jatay hain

jaisay dam tortay musafir ko 

qafilay waalay chorr jatay hain

ahain bharta hoon ashk peeta hoon 

roz marta hoon phir bhi jeeta hoon

teri yaadon ki tishnagi ab tak

yun meray dil ko thaam leti hai

jaisay ik taza qabar par bewa

marnay walay ka naam leti hai

shaam ke surmaii andheroN mein 

yuN meray dil ke daagh jaltay hain

jaisay parbat k sabz pairron par 

barf ke baad dhoop parti hai

jaisay sehra ki rait urr urr kar 

ajnabi ka tawaf karti hai 

Listen Shaam k surmaii andheroN mein on soundcloud

Zood Pasheman

November adha guzar chuka hay. sardhi kuch kuch barh chuki hay. aur raat k pichlay pehr tu khasoosan khunki aur bhi barh jati hay. yehi wo waqt hay jb meri ankhain neend se is qadar bojhal ho jati hain k koshish k bawjood main apna kaam jari nahi rakh pata. bil-akhir main batti bujha deta hoon aur bistar main lait jata hoon. bas phir kb neend apni aghosh main aa leti hay aur kb nia din shuru ho jata hay kuch pta nahi chalta.

koi raat k do swa do bajay ka waqt ho ga. main ooper ki manzil main apnay kamray main abhi kaam kr he rha tha k bahar main gate k pas kuch khatka sa mehsoos hua. yahan ooper ki manzil se neechay ka gate aur lawn saf nazar aata hay mgr is k liay kamray se nikal kr terrace pr jana parta hay. main nay aik tu kam main masroof honay ki waja se aur doosra bahar thund ki waja se is ghair mamooli awaz ko bilkul nazar andaz kia aur badastoor laptop pr jhuka kam krta rha. usi lamhay wohi awaz dubara sunai di. ab ki baar awaz ziada saaf thi. jis ki waja se main ba-qaida andaza laga paya k koi main gate pr charh kr ander anay ki koshish kr rha hay. main chokanna ho gya. aur us awaz pr ghor krnay lga. achanak dharram se koi cheez lawn main aa kr giri. main ahista se baghair shor paida kiay bahar terrace ki taraf lapka. yahan kharra main buhat daer tak lawn ka jaiza leta rha magar kuch hasil hasool na hua. main wapsi k liay murra he tha k mujhay kisi janwer k ronay ki awaz sunaii d. ye aik dil dehlanay wali cheekh thi, aik faryad, aik sisak, aik karb. main uski taraf mutawaja huay baghair na reh ska. 

main seerhian utar kr lawn main jharrion k paas aa gya jahan wo kaalay rang ki ghaleez si kuttiya parri thi. wo buri tarha zakhmi thi. uski khal jaga jaga se udhri hui thi aur gosht numaya ho rha tha. zakhmo se khoon ris raha tha. wo thori thori daer baad sisakti aur munh se cheekh numa awaz nikalti. wo be-sudh aur be harkat apni charoN taangoN ko pait se chipkaye aik taraf ko leti parri thi. meray qareeb janay pr bhi us ne zarra harkat na ki. main wahin lawn main beth gya. kuch daer ko mera dil mom sa ho gya. lekin main nahi janta tha mujhay us kuttiya k sath kesay paish ana chahiay.

main wahan say uth jana chahta tha mgr mujhay yun laga jesay meray qadam mera sath nahi detay jesay meray dil ko kisi nay jakarr liay ho. mujhay aesa laga k jesay ye rona tu buhat jana pehchana hay, jesay ye awaz jani pehchani hay. shayad is say pehlay bhi mainay kisi zakhmi kuttiya ko kahin rotay, bilaktay, sisaktay suna hay. tab mainay us ko is trha zakhmi dekha nahi tha. suna hay wo mar gayi thi. uff,.. mera dimagh bhi kahan se kahan puhanch jata hay. main wapis apnay kamray main aa gya. ab main sona chahta tha.

sardion ki raaton main door door tk hr awaz saaf sunai deti hay. aur ye awaz.... ye awaz tu yun lagta tha aur bhi qareeb ho gayi thi. aur ziada oonchi. aur ziada dard nak. main chahta tha wo rona band kr day. meri neend ka waqt tha aur wo kitni nahoosat phaila rhi thi. magar wo bechari tu dard se karah rhi thi. meray kaan main hichkion ki awaz sunai denay lagi. jesay koi bilkul kaan k paas betha ro rha ho. jesay koi kehta ho "main waqai mar jaoongi"... 

"tu mar jaao!" meray munh se be ikhtiar nikla. 

bass phir main uth betha. pta nahi main kisi baat ka azaala krna chahta tha ya kia tha mainay garm doodh kotoray main dala aur bahair lawn main aa gya. wo wahan nahi thi. wo kuttiya nahi thi. wo bemar thi. wo mehman thi. thori daer dhoondnay pr jhaarion k doosri taraf wo mujhay mil gayi. be his o harkat. be sudh. aik taraf ko lurkhi hui gardan. aur aankh k kinaray pr paani ka thehra hua qatra.

koi chupkay say phir kan main kenay lga, "main kehti thi na, main waqai mar jaoongi".

main hathon main pakrray huay is kattoray ko dekhnay laga. "tip tip" paani k do qatray doodh main mil kr sufaid ho gaye. main nahi jaan paya k mainay aaj ye ansoo kis ki moat pr bahaye hain.

Sobia

The Merciful.

The man says, "I am dirty, I am ashamed of seeking Allah".
He says, "How will you be purified unless I shower my blessings upon you".

Allah o Noor us samawat e wal ard.

Khuda e bazurg o bartar ki rehmat apkay sath ho tu koi apka kuch nahi bigar skta. Koi ap pr kitna bhi bad niyat ho kitna bhi burai pr amaada ho burai kr nahi skta jb tk ap Khuda ki rehmat k hisaar main hain. Khuda ki rehmat hmain kabhi be aasra nahi chorti. Magar hm is say door bhagna chahtay hain. Khuda tu chahta hay k hum usay apnay sath, apnay aas paas, apnay ander bahar mehsoos krain. Magar hm is tasavur se azaad hona chahtay hain. Hm ye tasavur krna chahtay hain k khuda nahi dekh rha. Hum jantay hain k Allah ki hadayat jis k sath ho wo kabhi nahi bhatkta lekin baaz khlaa jesay lamhoN main ji chahta hay k ye hadayat khuda kuch daer k liay wapis lay lay, kuch daer Wo hmain na dekhay aur hmain apni rehmat se dhaanp le mgr ....kuch daer baad.

Hum namaz main kharray ho kr barri ba qai'dgi se "ihdina sirat al mustaqeem" parhtay hain. Aur yaqeenun tasavur main us seedhay rastay ko dekh bhi letay hain mgr sath he dil main dua krtay hain k "Ya Allah ye wala seedha rasta nahi. Wo wala jo mainay apnay liay chuna hay" goya dua yun hui k "ay Allah! us raastay ko sirat e mustaqeem maan le jis pr main chal rha hoon".

Mujhay baqioN ka ilm nahi, magar main iqrar krti hoon k kai bar "ihdina sirat al mustaqeem" parhtay huay mujhay be had khof aya k agar kahin Allah ji ne ye dua poori kr di. Agr mujhay seedhay rastay pr chlaa dia gya tu? Phir meray dil main aik dua sargoshi krti hay k Ya Allah kuch din ki azadi aur day dain. Bass marnay se pehlay mera rukh apni taraf morr lijiay ga. Lekin main sari zindagi seedhay raastay pr nahin chalna chahti.

Aur kabhi kabhi ji chahta hay k agar Allah meri sirf aik baat maan le tu main poori ki poori Allah ki baat maan loon. Phir jo mera Rabb kahay mujhse krwaye.

Lekin ye tu koi shart nahi hay. Na mujhay is bat ka ikhtiyar hay. Main zuban se wohi kahoongi jo meray Allah nay mujhay kehnay ka parhnay ka hukm dia hay. Hr namaz main hr rakaat main. "Ae Rabbul Aalameen mujhay seedha raasta dikha".

Meri saari nafarmani, sarkashi, na shukri aik taraf Khuda mera aitraf e jurm bhi tu dekhay ga. Mera jhuka hua sir, meray ashk e nidamat raaegaN nahi jaiengay. InshaAllah

Mera Rabb buhat be nyaz buhat ghafoor arrahim hay.

Sinful.